Help...i have an eating disorder...?

i am 17 and i have compulsive overeating eating disorder...my parents don't believe me. i tell myself not to pick up the junk food but i cant and i eat it thinking "oh it's ok it's just one" but then when i get done i feel all guilty and depressed. and it makes me so upset that i cry and want to kill myself. i wake up telling myself to stay away from it but i really cant. this past year in biology we read an article about if maybe overeating is genetics..and the kids in class were horrible. "Just stop eating!" they said. it honestly made me want to yell "i can't!!! don't you get it!? it's a disease!!" but i kept it inside because that's the type of person i am. i don't know what to do. i've lost 20 pounds about a year ago but i can't seem to get motivated to lose more..and it's not exercising it's eating right. i've tried starving myself and throwing up..but i just can't do it. i haven't told my friends because i'm afraid they're going to judge me. to me it's embarrasing. i had this bff who is honestly the most beautiful girl in the world. i have no idea how we came together but she wondered why i stopped hanging out with her and it's because she makes me feel so ugly. i get random mood swings and often i hate her and everyone else who is beautiful. i don't know what to do with myself anymore. food keeps disappearing in our house and mutiple times i've blamed others for vast food disappearances on my brother or my friends when they come over. i hate my life. i have so much anger built inside. i don't communicate with my family and i only have a few friends. when kids try to talk to me and make friends i completely ignore them...im so insecure and i have a false sense of security....and i blame my eating disorder. if anyone has or had the same problem at me can you please email me at cececarney@att.net... and to the ******* who think this **** is funny: seriously no bullshit answers because it's a waste of my life and yours...but any advice is worth trying so feel free to comment below. but again no bullshit answers.